October 15, 2012 October Caption Contest
Commentary:
October caption contest is here! I’m excited to have a very, very special guest judge for this contest! The esteemed Shulem Deen, the original Hasidic Rebel, founder and editor of Unpious (where my best writing is published) and my personal writing guru will put on his black judge’s chalat, review your submissions and put down the gavel on the winner. Said Justice Deen will write the post for the winning announcement at the end of the month, when his recess is over.
Since this doodle is a little extra daring, I’ll ask you to please exercise good taste in posting sexual captions. I’m all for having some fun with it, but try to keep it clever and with Yiddishe Taam.
Sadly, there will be no cash prize for this month’s caption contest, but despair not my dears, I’m trying to think of something else I may be able to offer as the contest prize. So far everything I’ve thought of – my old Pesach dishes, twin bed linens, wall of china tablecloth, tichels and turbans and dickies from my garage – seems to come out more advantageous to me than to the person who receives those vunderbar gifts. But I’m still thinking.
For now I guess we’ll find out if this can work without dangling incentives. Go for it!
Toda!
Pinny Gold
Posted at 00:33h, 15 Octoberטובל ושרץ בידו
Is that god calling or the rabbi?
Finally I’ve got an opportunity to do some Kosher Phone-Sex…
Baal Devarim
Posted at 00:33h, 15 OctoberKoosher!!
Shragi Getzel
Posted at 00:39h, 15 OctoberOh no! The mikvah lady better not see that!
Yoelish
Posted at 00:52h, 15 OctoberHotspots!
Yoily
Posted at 00:52h, 15 OctoberPeeping Tom’s phone fell from the ceiling
Yoelish
Posted at 00:54h, 15 OctoberDarling, don’t hang up; I’m dunking.
Yoelish
Posted at 00:59h, 15 OctoberThe Beaming a Kosher Dip feature.
Yoelish
Posted at 01:03h, 15 October“That’s the only condition Harav Shteiman attached to my iPhone waiver!”
Yoelish
Posted at 01:08h, 15 October“Oops! But I hope the outgoing picture mail still goes through before the phone dies!”
Groynem
Posted at 01:11h, 15 Octoberנעמט מיט קול מבשר וואו אימער איר גייט… פאר מער דריקט נומער זעקס.
Yoelish
Posted at 01:37h, 15 OctoberVirgin Mobile.
Yoelish
Posted at 01:59h, 15 OctoberSiri: “You asked, ‘How do I perform the holy dunk?'”
yeshivaforum
Posted at 02:36h, 15 OctoberWhuu!! Thats it. No more mikvah pics no matter how much shloime wants them.
Newbie
Posted at 02:55h, 15 OctoberHow does this Mikvah app work exactly?
DJ
Posted at 08:47h, 15 October“Shaindy you can make the Brocho now….you are “virtually” under water….”
the galuch
Posted at 10:52h, 15 OctoberOh yes, I’ve heard about these new filters.
Enigma
Posted at 11:19h, 15 OctoberHelp! Help! I think Rabbi Amnon Yitzchak is drowning! Somebody throw him some rope!
Wannabe
Posted at 12:00h, 15 OctoberThis on off period of not being able to touch my phone definitely draws us so much closer.
Wannabe
Posted at 12:04h, 15 OctoberEvery time I take off my turban the stupid phone falls out! argh!
Wannabe
Posted at 12:08h, 15 OctoberWhat? the rebitzins shiur wasn’t over yet…
Groynem Ox
Posted at 14:00h, 15 OctoberNo rabbi! I’m not sending pix to prove anything!
Groynem Ox
Posted at 14:17h, 15 OctoberImamother verification gone wrong.
Groynem Ox
Posted at 14:24h, 15 OctoberThose women on his phone could use a mikvah too.
Rod
Posted at 16:12h, 15 Octoberiphone = nipples
Rachmuna Litzlon
Posted at 20:09h, 15 October1-900-KOSHER-SEX
Newbie
Posted at 20:13h, 15 OctoberThe Rabbi said I can only have a Kosher phone.
Yoelish
Posted at 04:28h, 16 October“There goes my only vibrator!!!”
Godless Fear
Posted at 07:57h, 16 Octoberi feel naked without my phone
Godless Fear
Posted at 08:11h, 16 Octobermy phone and I are eligible for an upgrade
Gutman Braun
Posted at 14:38h, 17 OctoberSo there — now nobody can tell me that MY internet is impure.
Gutman Braun
Posted at 14:59h, 17 October“oy oy oy, the previous woman has a tzniyus problem: she’s gonna feel naked without her phone”
suri
Posted at 15:04h, 17 OctoberAre those d’s or double d’s? Need panaromic view to get them all in.
Gutman Braun
Posted at 15:06h, 17 October‘He cares about his phone more than his wife; it’s only logical that the phone be the one to prepare for an intimate evening”
Gutman Braun
Posted at 15:14h, 17 October“hmmm, “some nights” might be an appropriate ringtone after all.”
muffin
Posted at 18:48h, 17 OctoberOops! I guess I’ll have to double dip.
Yoelish
Posted at 20:26h, 17 October“Hon, is it my cell or yours? You sound like you’re underwater.”
Yoelish
Posted at 20:34h, 17 October“הלילה הזה אנו מטבילין שתי פעמים”
oop
Posted at 20:42h, 17 Octoberoops! I did it again…
Yoelish
Posted at 20:52h, 17 OctoberGutman Braun
Posted at 09:49h, 18 October“So you wanna know how I feel about Taharas Hamishpacha? Confined in a cell, is how I feel.”
show us your pretty face
Posted at 11:15h, 18 OctoberIf you can graduate from a drawing like this to photographs, you know your paypal button will be going Ding! Ding! Ding! The whole day that you’ll have so much $ in paypal that you will be disqualified from foodstamps!
muffin
Posted at 13:12h, 18 OctoberIs that your cell phone or are you just happy to see me?
OTAOT
Posted at 15:13h, 18 Octoberthe horror of Mikva-going
Warren
Posted at 20:56h, 18 OctoberMore dangerous than a shark
BHB
Posted at 07:35h, 19 OctoberOK, Caption cloud is coming not from the lady but from beneath the phone. “I meant a REAL lifesaver”
kave
Posted at 11:54h, 19 October“Toiveling the REAL me”
oy!
Posted at 21:46h, 20 OctoberThe sexy babe in the drawing doesn’t look like she shaves her hair! I can’t tell if she shaves her pussy, though .
Closet Humanist
Posted at 20:04h, 21 OctoberFor all the porn my husband has sex to with this phone, may it at the very least comply with taharas hamispacha!
PenT
Posted at 23:48h, 21 OctoberI’m not getting into this mikvah, it is a wave pool, and I can’t swim.
PenT
Posted at 00:17h, 22 October“How’s this old woman, I have had it with “koosher”, I’m getting an iPhone..”
Bubba
Posted at 12:10h, 26 OctoberI know how much you hate the Mikva, but now you have no choice. You have to toivel.
Bubba
Posted at 12:11h, 26 OctoberWhat a therapeutic way to cure my fear of water.
The Rebbetzin
Posted at 15:01h, 26 October“Wait–did he say the blowtorch comes before mikva or after?”
ana
Posted at 22:06h, 27 OctoberMy husband said, either you go (to the mikvah) or the phone goes…
Esther
Posted at 23:06h, 28 OctoberApple’s latest product: mikveh for your iPhones!
indignation
Posted at 02:34h, 31 Octoberana
Posted at 19:30h, 01 Novembersomeone had to introduce the mikvah to modern technology… now if only i can introduce my rabbi to it as well…