December Caption Contest

December Caption Contest

Hi Everyone —

With the Weberman trial and the Rabbi in England who allegedly molested his female constituents there’s been a lot of conversation about men taking their pants off, so I thought the December cartoon caption contest should be something a little relevant (as promised!). I’ve been following the Weberman trial by asking insiders about it and reading outside reports, and the whole saga is fascinating, painful, an eye-opener. I hope to write some more about this soon. It’s the end of the semester, we’re right at the crunch, so I’m trying to make it through this last leg. Meanwhile, I need some lightening up with a good caption. Please leave a comment with your witty stuff. If you can be so witty on Facebook, c’mon, save some for a heimish doodle.

Winner of the December caption contest get’s an honorary announcement on this here blog and a special visit from Santa for being so naughtily nice.
A semi-naked Hasid going into a court room

  • Anonymous
    Posted at 21:28h, 03 December Reply

    This is the women’s entrance, you can go right in…

  • Yoelish
    Posted at 21:37h, 03 December Reply

    “It’s the hat that they usually ask you to remove. But who knows?”

  • Yoelish
    Posted at 21:47h, 03 December Reply

    “This way the judge won’t risk asking you to raise your hands and swear.”

  • Rabbi C H
    Posted at 22:07h, 03 December Reply

    “Let them see, I always did my courtship business after a dip in the mikvah.”

  • Shragi Getzel
    Posted at 22:19h, 03 December Reply

    Wait! I still have on my Rabbeini Tams!

  • Pinny Gold
    Posted at 23:01h, 03 December Reply

    So can I do some counseling service to the judge?

  • Anonymous
    Posted at 23:28h, 03 December Reply

    sir, dont get too excited, there are no children in this courtroom.

  • Yossi Dee
    Posted at 23:47h, 03 December Reply

    “Sir! Try to keep your pants on during trial. Appreciated!”

  • Yoelish
    Posted at 23:48h, 03 December Reply

    “So that the jury gets distracted by my six pack.”

  • Yoelish
    Posted at 23:58h, 03 December Reply

    “I’m so ready for קרויס examination!”

  • Anonymous
    Posted at 00:07h, 04 December Reply

    Seriously?? The jury will find you guilty in a heartbeat if you walk in like that!

  • Yoelish
    Posted at 00:15h, 04 December Reply

    “Defense counsel announced that his client will take the stand. A one night stand!”

  • Anonymous
    Posted at 00:21h, 04 December Reply

    This strategy your Rabbi came up with is mamesh gevaldig!! The jury will think you’re a nebich and have such rachmonus for you that they will just dismiss the case.. Takeh gevaldig!

  • Groynem
    Posted at 00:22h, 04 December Reply

    נאך א מזל כ׳האב ארויף געדרייט די פיאות, זאל כאטש נישט זיין קיין חילול השם.

  • Ant Tics
    Posted at 01:04h, 04 December Reply

    Going courting.

  • Anonymous
    Posted at 01:11h, 04 December Reply

    Uh, this is awkward.. this is not one of those heimishe courts where they turn a blind eye to what you are doing/wearing… you better get dressed!

  • Anonymous
    Posted at 01:32h, 04 December Reply

    ער שטייט נאך דארט פון נעכטען, זעהט אויס אז דער אנדערער איז נאך ווייט נישט פארטיג

  • Chana G. Baum
    Posted at 09:20h, 04 December Reply

    Excuse my appearance, I was on my way to counsel some young girl…

  • Leo
    Posted at 14:37h, 04 December Reply

    Heard there are some “hot” discussions going on in here, so I dressed accordingly.

  • S.
    Posted at 18:48h, 04 December Reply

    “Of course it’s a good strategy. You’re irresistible, right? When they see your bod they’ll totally acquit.”

  • Anonymous
    Posted at 20:25h, 04 December Reply

    Hey! The water fountain in front of the courthouse is not a mikvah!

  • Gutman Braun
    Posted at 12:59h, 05 December Reply

    The truth isn’t what’s important in this room, what matters is that the jury think you’re ‘clean’

  • Anonymous
    Posted at 14:09h, 05 December Reply

    Let’s not tell anyone what just happened…

  • BHB
    Posted at 22:35h, 05 December Reply

    Yep, definitely the insanity plea.

  • DJ
    Posted at 00:29h, 06 December Reply

    “See – if it doesn’t fit they must acquit”

  • Doe
    Posted at 09:47h, 07 December Reply

    “So; appear confident, let me do my job, and remember -no matter what, you enjoy the entire community’s support. Just one thing. Under no circumstances should you masturbate in the room we are about to enter.”

  • Doe
    Posted at 09:59h, 07 December Reply

    “Forkosh “u tink I’m stupet? By de maluchim vee say mater aseerim before malbish areemem”

  • Doe
    Posted at 10:09h, 07 December Reply

    “I.. I, I’m saaaarry, at de lunch break I vent to my uffice, end a mechitzef tvelf yir old stole my cloding”

  • Anonymous
    Posted at 14:10h, 07 December Reply

    When in Rome, do what the Romans do… Oh, wait, you’re Satmar, these rules don’t apply to you…

  • Y.
    Posted at 13:30h, 08 December Reply

    “I’ll remind them of shirtless Joseph falsely accused by Mrs. Potiphar!”

  • Sarah
    Posted at 16:34h, 08 December Reply

    Really? You forget Shoes on a day like today? Oy Vey!

  • Smarty Pants
    Posted at 18:47h, 08 December Reply

    “They’re being aired with the rest of the dirty laundry.”

  • Anonymous
    Posted at 15:45h, 10 December Reply

    Sorry about that guilty verdict. Next time keep your pants on!

  • Ashmedai
    Posted at 22:14h, 10 December Reply

    To commenter #33
    I share a sense of vindication with the victim as strongly as anyone, but to rub a mans face in the ground when he’s about to begin the end of his life in a cell dos’nt feel right. I feel nauseaus. its just not classy to rejoice at this time. Abarbanel points out the reason for spilling ten drops of wine when we recite the makos at the seder. The reason is because we show that even though we were saved and the Egyptions suffered, our cup does not remain full- or overflowing with joy. Human beings suffer. It hurts.

  • Avraham
    Posted at 20:01h, 11 December Reply

    Half Staff? or Full Staff?

  • Anonymous
    Posted at 14:30h, 12 December Reply

    I’m the quack therapist. Quack Quack

  • Anonymous
    Posted at 14:18h, 13 December Reply

    Sure, you can wear whatever you want, this is a no judgement zone…

  • kafhakela
    Posted at 01:32h, 14 December Reply

    ער’ס קוים ארויס מיט די גאטשעס

  • Anonymous
    Posted at 14:08h, 16 December Reply

    Ashmedai– this is commentator #33. I have thought about what you said and realized that you are absolutely right, my comment was very insensitive. I take that comment back and am resubmitting the following:
    “Burech Hashem for the guilty verdict. Next time keep your pants on!”
    Is that better Asmedai? If not, i can also say:
    “Burech Hashem that the jury found you guilty. Now you wont be able to hurt girls anymore!”
    Let me know which one you prefer…

  • Chatzkel
    Posted at 19:05h, 23 December Reply

    Put your pants on, there are cameras In the court-room

  • Gerry
    Posted at 04:57h, 24 December Reply

    terrorist therapist looses trousers to truth

  • Gerry
    Posted at 05:10h, 24 December Reply

    oops email should read lagis
    terrorist therapist looses tousers to truth

  • Groynem
    Posted at 14:20h, 25 December Reply

    “I’ll show them my bris koidesh and they’ll all run away in fear.”

  • Anonymous
    Posted at 12:32h, 28 December Reply

    a the-rapist does not need to wear any pants…

  • Anonymous
    Posted at 22:52h, 15 January Reply

    If this is your idea of “santa” then you can keep him, I def dont want a visit from him.

  • Kevin
    Posted at 05:17h, 20 May Reply

    I just came across your blog and your cartoons. Since it appears this December contest was never decided, here are five more entries:
    1. “Don’t worry — you think the judge has never seen a rabbi who lost his suit?”
    2. “As I understand the Torah, you’ll have your purity back at sundown. But as I understand the DA’s office, getting your clothes back will take considerably longer.”
    3. “Don’t worry, I’ll tell the judge I’m filing a motion to suppress — you had a reasonable expectation of privacy in your clothes, even though you weren’t wearing them.”
    4. “Remember, you fell into a pool of water — do NOT say “mikvah.”
    5. “Shouldn’t that towel have tzitzit?”

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