December 3, 2012 December Caption Contest
Hi Everyone —
With the Weberman trial and the Rabbi in England who allegedly molested his female constituents there’s been a lot of conversation about men taking their pants off, so I thought the December cartoon caption contest should be something a little relevant (as promised!). I’ve been following the Weberman trial by asking insiders about it and reading outside reports, and the whole saga is fascinating, painful, an eye-opener. I hope to write some more about this soon. It’s the end of the semester, we’re right at the crunch, so I’m trying to make it through this last leg. Meanwhile, I need some lightening up with a good caption. Please leave a comment with your witty stuff. If you can be so witty on Facebook, c’mon, save some for a heimish doodle.
Winner of the December caption contest get’s an honorary announcement on this here blog and a special visit from Santa for being so naughtily nice.
Anonymous
Posted at 21:28h, 03 DecemberThis is the women’s entrance, you can go right in…
Yoelish
Posted at 21:37h, 03 December“It’s the hat that they usually ask you to remove. But who knows?”
Yoelish
Posted at 21:47h, 03 December“This way the judge won’t risk asking you to raise your hands and swear.”
Rabbi C H
Posted at 22:07h, 03 December“Let them see, I always did my courtship business after a dip in the mikvah.”
Shragi Getzel
Posted at 22:19h, 03 DecemberWait! I still have on my Rabbeini Tams!
Pinny Gold
Posted at 23:01h, 03 DecemberSo can I do some counseling service to the judge?
Anonymous
Posted at 23:28h, 03 Decembersir, dont get too excited, there are no children in this courtroom.
Yossi Dee
Posted at 23:47h, 03 December“Sir! Try to keep your pants on during trial. Appreciated!”
Yoelish
Posted at 23:48h, 03 December“So that the jury gets distracted by my six pack.”
Yoelish
Posted at 23:58h, 03 December“I’m so ready for קרויס examination!”
Anonymous
Posted at 00:07h, 04 DecemberSeriously?? The jury will find you guilty in a heartbeat if you walk in like that!
Yoelish
Posted at 00:15h, 04 December“Defense counsel announced that his client will take the stand. A one night stand!”
Anonymous
Posted at 00:21h, 04 DecemberThis strategy your Rabbi came up with is mamesh gevaldig!! The jury will think you’re a nebich and have such rachmonus for you that they will just dismiss the case.. Takeh gevaldig!
Groynem
Posted at 00:22h, 04 Decemberנאך א מזל כ׳האב ארויף געדרייט די פיאות, זאל כאטש נישט זיין קיין חילול השם.
Ant Tics
Posted at 01:04h, 04 DecemberGoing courting.
Anonymous
Posted at 01:11h, 04 DecemberUh, this is awkward.. this is not one of those heimishe courts where they turn a blind eye to what you are doing/wearing… you better get dressed!
Anonymous
Posted at 01:32h, 04 Decemberער שטייט נאך דארט פון נעכטען, זעהט אויס אז דער אנדערער איז נאך ווייט נישט פארטיג
Chana G. Baum
Posted at 09:20h, 04 DecemberExcuse my appearance, I was on my way to counsel some young girl…
Leo
Posted at 14:37h, 04 DecemberHeard there are some “hot” discussions going on in here, so I dressed accordingly.
S.
Posted at 18:48h, 04 December“Of course it’s a good strategy. You’re irresistible, right? When they see your bod they’ll totally acquit.”
Anonymous
Posted at 20:25h, 04 DecemberHey! The water fountain in front of the courthouse is not a mikvah!
Gutman Braun
Posted at 12:59h, 05 DecemberThe truth isn’t what’s important in this room, what matters is that the jury think you’re ‘clean’
Anonymous
Posted at 14:09h, 05 DecemberLet’s not tell anyone what just happened…
BHB
Posted at 22:35h, 05 DecemberYep, definitely the insanity plea.
DJ
Posted at 00:29h, 06 December“See – if it doesn’t fit they must acquit”
Doe
Posted at 09:47h, 07 December“So; appear confident, let me do my job, and remember -no matter what, you enjoy the entire community’s support. Just one thing. Under no circumstances should you masturbate in the room we are about to enter.”
Doe
Posted at 09:59h, 07 December“Forkosh “u tink I’m stupet? By de maluchim vee say mater aseerim before malbish areemem”
Doe
Posted at 10:09h, 07 December“I.. I, I’m saaaarry, at de lunch break I vent to my uffice, end a mechitzef tvelf yir old stole my cloding”
Anonymous
Posted at 14:10h, 07 DecemberWhen in Rome, do what the Romans do… Oh, wait, you’re Satmar, these rules don’t apply to you…
Y.
Posted at 13:30h, 08 December“I’ll remind them of shirtless Joseph falsely accused by Mrs. Potiphar!”
Sarah
Posted at 16:34h, 08 DecemberReally? You forget Shoes on a day like today? Oy Vey!
Smarty Pants
Posted at 18:47h, 08 December“They’re being aired with the rest of the dirty laundry.”
Anonymous
Posted at 15:45h, 10 DecemberSorry about that guilty verdict. Next time keep your pants on!
Ashmedai
Posted at 22:14h, 10 DecemberTo commenter #33
I share a sense of vindication with the victim as strongly as anyone, but to rub a mans face in the ground when he’s about to begin the end of his life in a cell dos’nt feel right. I feel nauseaus. its just not classy to rejoice at this time. Abarbanel points out the reason for spilling ten drops of wine when we recite the makos at the seder. The reason is because we show that even though we were saved and the Egyptions suffered, our cup does not remain full- or overflowing with joy. Human beings suffer. It hurts.
Avraham
Posted at 20:01h, 11 DecemberHalf Staff? or Full Staff?
Anonymous
Posted at 14:30h, 12 DecemberI’m the quack therapist. Quack Quack
Anonymous
Posted at 14:18h, 13 DecemberSure, you can wear whatever you want, this is a no judgement zone…
kafhakela
Posted at 01:32h, 14 Decemberער’ס קוים ארויס מיט די גאטשעס
Anonymous
Posted at 14:08h, 16 DecemberAshmedai– this is commentator #33. I have thought about what you said and realized that you are absolutely right, my comment was very insensitive. I take that comment back and am resubmitting the following:
“Burech Hashem for the guilty verdict. Next time keep your pants on!”
Is that better Asmedai? If not, i can also say:
“Burech Hashem that the jury found you guilty. Now you wont be able to hurt girls anymore!”
Let me know which one you prefer…
Thanks!
Chatzkel
Posted at 19:05h, 23 DecemberPut your pants on, there are cameras In the court-room
Gerry
Posted at 04:57h, 24 Decemberterrorist therapist looses trousers to truth
Gerry
Posted at 05:10h, 24 Decemberoops email should read lagis
caption:
terrorist therapist looses tousers to truth
Groynem
Posted at 14:20h, 25 December“I’ll show them my bris koidesh and they’ll all run away in fear.”
Anonymous
Posted at 12:32h, 28 Decembera the-rapist does not need to wear any pants…
Anonymous
Posted at 22:52h, 15 JanuaryIf this is your idea of “santa” then you can keep him, I def dont want a visit from him.
Kevin
Posted at 05:17h, 20 MayI just came across your blog and your cartoons. Since it appears this December contest was never decided, here are five more entries:
1. “Don’t worry — you think the judge has never seen a rabbi who lost his suit?”
2. “As I understand the Torah, you’ll have your purity back at sundown. But as I understand the DA’s office, getting your clothes back will take considerably longer.”
3. “Don’t worry, I’ll tell the judge I’m filing a motion to suppress — you had a reasonable expectation of privacy in your clothes, even though you weren’t wearing them.”
4. “Remember, you fell into a pool of water — do NOT say “mikvah.”
5. “Shouldn’t that towel have tzitzit?”