Mysteries of the Newlywed Couple’s Room

Mysteries of the Newlywed Couple’s Room

A reader asked: What do they do in the yichud room?


They kiss.

The Hasidic couple, of my community’s arranged marriage variety, has their first kiss in the private room.

Someone recorded a Hasidic male teacher preparing the boy for marriage. The teacher is talking to a sheltered, nineteen year old boy who had no prior contact with women. The whole thing is difficult to listen to – for emotional reasons – but here is the transcribed and translated instructions for the Yichud Room:

“You walk into the yichud room. As soon as you get into the yichud room, you lock the door,—what’s her [your bride’s] name?”


“Libby? Very good name. You give her like so, Mazel Tov Libby, with both hands. Kay? Tell her Mazel tov, bless her very nicely, tell her to repeat with you: ‘May God help us have a good home, we should always be healthy, and always have good marital accord, mmm… talk, talk, talk.’ And as soon as you say the word ‘Amen,’ the hand leave here (?), embrace her, and give her a good kiss here and here. Kay? In the cheek. Not in the mouth. Kay? And as soon as you finished kissing her you say ‘Wow Libby, your gown came out BEAUTIFUL, so stunning, it’s very, very nice.’ Fine. Tell her I have something for you, take out the earrings [a big gift, by every groom], she puts it on, say ‘Wow, it’s very very very nice on you.’ The next thing is, say ‘Come, let’s sit down…’”

And now you know.

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