If there is a chart, it’s science!

If there is a chart, it’s science!

Even Hasidic zealots are getting with the times and making proper charts to prove “facts!”

This use of data and statistics is just terrific. This is an older street poster from my archives, which shows “Why the smartphone is disgusting to all pious Jews.”

It goes on to share the following data on what responders said about smartphones:

A smartphone causes:

95% = gossip and naughty talk

55% = marital problems

50% = cut off from the children

30% = desecrate the shabbes

15% = left the good, true path

Sadly, my picture is cut off, and I don’t remember what part 100% of responders said a smartphone causes. I think it’s the decline of the generations. Not to worry though—after I’ve done the math in my lab, I’ve come up with off-the-chart percent verifications of the numbers of people who absolutely positively provided data for this not-at-all-doctored report. Snort.

Meanwhile, speaking of, ehrm, “science,” data and numbers that don’t lie, here’s another classic one with regards to smartphones:

422 teenagers left the Orthodox path in 2017  as a result of their mother’s smartphone.

Where and how this information was scienced up doesn’t matter. It always gets a laugh out of me.


Related:

Returning from the afterlife to battle the turban

Censoring Lady Position Available

Hasidic schoolwork—censored!

 

1 Comment
  • Dooet
    Posted at 09:00h, 08 February Reply

    Just a cover-up for the irrational חינוך, which is the real cause of lots of problems.

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