February 15, 2023 Pearl on head shaving and her son who left
This is the second part of my sit-down talk with Pearl. It’s been a really emotional journey to do these videos with Pearl. She shares so openly, she is so REAL, and I often feel like I ask so much from Pearl by having her put herself on the line for me. But she’s been nothing but gracious and loving through it all. At the end of this video, she said, “I have a soft spot for OTD people.” That was so powerful. Because I, too, have a soft spot. The other way around. There’s something very poignant and painful and special about having a soft spot for those whose paths sometimes are so different than ours.
The subject of women’s head shaving, which was discussed in this video, is a huge pet project of mine. Not only because it featured so front and center in Unorthodox, which I wrote about extensively, but more so, because the question of “Why shave my head” became one of the catalysts to my personal journey. I ended up studying the subject for my grad work, but after hundreds of hours of work on it, I dropped out of the program. Maybe one day I’ll return to it. I hope so. In the meantime, Pearl’s perspective on it felt so true to my early experience of the custom. In multiple conversations with her, she repeated to me that the custom was a non-issue to her. Her wig, which she loves, was a terrific replacement for hair, and that was that. I hope the viewers will appreciate her candor even when, for outsiders, this custom can trigger very strong reactions.
It’s been a hell of a journey, and I look forward to more good times with Pearl!
Related:
(sorta) live-tweeting watching Unorthodox
A list of Hasidic female headgear, with illustrations
On women shaving all their hair
Returning from the afterlife to battle the turban
Lacey Stovall
Posted at 07:28h, 16 FebruaryYou’ve done amazing work Frieda! Heart work & mind work. Go have a drink!
Frieda Vizel
Posted at 09:48h, 16 FebruaryLacey, thank you 🙂 I absolutely adore your comments. Even on videos from a million years ago – you made me laugh there!
HARRY WEISS
Posted at 10:19h, 16 FebruaryFrieda and Mrs Pearl are both very special woman that i admire . Hashem should bless you both with good health and naches of your children and grandchildren .. Goood Shabbis from Jerusalem Israel .
Frieda Vizel
Posted at 14:20h, 16 FebruaryGood shabbes dear Harry!
Diane Aeschliman
Posted at 21:14h, 18 FebruaryI am not Jewish. This has increased my understanding and admiration for the Jewish people. It must be wonderful to know you are on your right path in life. Pearl’s certainty is a beautiful thing. I thank you both for teaching us about a world I knew little about.
a yid
Posted at 03:57h, 22 FebruaryWhere is there any halacha on women shaving their heads? In our Tanach or commentaries does it ever discuss this? I find it very disturbing. Men are encouraged
to have their beards and peyos grow because the hair is spiriual and should be uplifted according to halacha. But, where it says women should shave their heads?
It seems abominable and oppressive and fodder for the haters. Sighh, Hashem yerachem. it’s awful.
a yid
Posted at 04:01h, 22 FebruaryI saw part of the video. You say that because hair covering is so important whether or not it’s cut is not so important. This is insanity. Again, where in halacha it says this? Just as men are to have beards and peyos,
women should have their hair for themselves and their husbands. Their hair is a vital part of their femininity and something they share with their husbands. The nazis y.s. shaved our heads! The goyim shave
their heads! Jewish women must be encouraged to keep their hair!!! What you said is terribly wrong! No!!! Jewish women should be encouraged to keep their hair!! Yes, they should cover according
to halacha, but not cut it!!! Please Hashem help. This is so simple. I adamantly oppose any group who says women should shave their heads. Oy, Hashem help us.
Rachael N
Posted at 12:25h, 25 MarchI have enjoyed getting to know Pearl a bit. Frida, as always I respect the sensitivity with which you undertake such conversations with your former community. I think whenever we seek to connect rather an separate ourselves from those those worldview is different from ours we come out a better person. You embody this very much and your tour of Williamsburg remains a highpoint of our visit to NYC.
Frieda Vizel
Posted at 19:04h, 25 MarchRachael, meeting you and your family was one of my most memorable experiences. Thanks for your comments here and on Youtube; always makes me happy to hear from you.
Malky
Posted at 20:46h, 15 SeptemberThank you. very much enjoyed. shaving hair is not halacha but tradition in certain hungarian communities. the sages in the ausrtrio-hungarian empire 400 years ago signed this takkana which is kept in those communities. it’s about mesorah. Other communities, Polish, Lithuanian, Russian, did not keep this custom.