September 2, 2020 Hasidic Satmar creative writing
I recently came across my heavily-decorated creative writing notebook from the sixth grade in my Hasidic girl’s school. I have very fond memories of the writing notebooks we adorned each year. I worked endless hours on them and adored my work. I fancied myself a great writer with very original ideas, mostly because that’s what the other students said. It is very fun to look back and laugh at it all.
Here is my bio: (hardly any of it is true, which, presumably is hilarious. I think the humor in Hasidic writing is hard to translate because it would not be obvious to the unfamiliar reader that I have no connections to Australia whatsoever.)
Hi! This is the author – Fraidy Wertheimer. I’m born in year ‘85 in Brooklyn, NY 11211. My mother and father come from Australia. They loved writing. It was in year ‘89 when I started writing. I made cute little articles. In year 92 I started writing some small poems. Writing got beloved to me. In year ‘94 I started writing excellent compositions, and now in year ‘96-97 I publish this book. I hope you’ll enjoy it.
Here is another taste of 6th grade writing, a descriptive essay with profound implications for plums:
Juicy drops of the little scrumptious plum dance down to the ? Floor as the white big teeth ‘clothes’ again nonchalantly. Just open your and glance at the dark fruit. It may remind you of dark helpless days. It may flash back to a day of an ‘imbearesment’. But just unwrap the black peels and you’ll find golden days; treasures in life.
Your ‘nightbore‘ [neighbor!] sitting next to you only at the left corner “SHE SEEMS WORTH NOTHING”. You’d agree she never talks just runs on your feet and after you. While subing [sobbing] she ’mones’ for help. “See my broken heart. I need some eyes to understand and see my red crying eyes and spoken ‘throte’.“ Go next to her and peel off her ugly shell and explore her bright talents as the shine of the inside part of the plum. And as her days, your days too will become bright as a pearl!!
The best part of all this was the time we girls got to spend on creative projects. This was greatly envied by our brothers, who had no similar secular subjects and who had to spend all their hours on dull textual studies.