September Caption Contest! Win $25!

 Posted by on September 3, 2012
Sep 032012

A man blowing a shofar in the bathtub

It’s the time of month, guys, for the caption contest.

IMPORTANT NOTE: In honor of the month of Ellul I am increasing the stakes. The prize will be $25 dollars PLUS complete 100% repentance of your sins, guaranteed.

And you thought the prize will be sin itself! 😉

Ok, you know the drill. Here are the rules:

  1. Look at my doodle and think of something
  2. Keep thinking because I work hard at these and I really look forward to your hairbrained ideas.
  3. Be ridiculous. Be spontaneous. Leave a comment. Remember to leave the email address so we can send you the money!
  4. Repeat 1-4 like, neurotically.
  5. Vote on the best comments, mostly your own.
  6. Goes without saying: check your votes, like, neurotically.
  7. Win. or Lose. or Sin – now that you’ll win.

Winner announced at the end of the month.

Thank you!

Frieda Vizel

Frieda Vizel left the Hasidic community, the Modern Orthodox community and the Formerly Orthodox (OTD) community. She now lives in Pomona and is actively looking for a new community to leave. She deals with the perplexities of the communities she left by drawing cartoons about them, a habit that gets her into an excellent amount of trouble.

  85 Responses to “September Caption Contest! Win $25!”

  1. שפרינצא, קום שנעל, לאמיר צומישן דעם שטן! פ

  2. Blog job.

  3. שופר און מקוה באנזאם

  4. תקיעות דמושכב

  5. אפשר גאר תקיעות דמעומד

  6. The apple and honey were better, that hotel had a jacuzzi.

  7. Must. Keep. Practicing.

  8. To live in a bubble, I constantly have to blow new bubbles.

  9. A skilful double-lifer will always blow them out of the water.

  10. And let me end by demonstrating what is “not” considered ?????? ???????

  11. תקיעות דמושכב

  12. From the Kupat Ha’ir ‘rejected pile’.

  13. does it really matter what you blow…

  14. This way, I get to skip that looong pre-shofar speech…. Maybe I”ll become Baal Tokeiah fr the women.

  15. “That’s the last time those menuvalim in 4F are going to disturb the vaibe while she soaks for mikve with their filthy animal sounds. Whoever heard of shtupping in a tub?”

  16. Is this what the Ruv meant when he said it’s the time of year for cleansing yourself?

  17. תא שמע התוקע לתוך הבור לא יצא. ואין חכם כבעל ניסיון


  19. Back stage at the Moshiach staging grounds.

  20. When I stop blowing, you can stop too!

  21. why “double life” when you can have both at once?

  22. This great cartoon does not need any caption, it’s funny and deep (if you want to see it) without any text at all.

  23. איכ׳ל איר ווייזן וואס הייסט בלאזן

  24. “כ’האב געהערט אז פרויען קומען אלע צו שופר בלאזן.”

  25. Why moshiach still hasn’t cum

  26. און דערנאך, א דערהויבענער, האט ער זיך פארזינקען אין ים התלמיד.

  27. The chassidim cannot see this, they can’t understand the hisbodidus I achieve in the bath.

  28. “Yankel: Uhn der talis?!”

  29. שויתי ד’ לנגדי תמיד

  30. …מי במים

  31. Urban Tashlich

  32. לפני ד’ תטהרו

  33. חוני המעגל

  34. “Cleanliness is next to G-dliness.”

  35. Time for my annual bath

  36. “naked before G-d” (Job 26:6)

  37. “Yankel, Without your talis?!”

  38. Even Reb Levi Yitzchok of Berditchev would find this one a challenge.

  39. “If all our wrongdoings are forgiven on Yom Kippur,” he reasoned in true talmudic style, “we become like Adam & Eve before original sin. And does not Genesis 2:25 state, ‘they were naked’?”

  40. “But I was only following the Yom Kippur Temple Service described in my machzor: ‘the high priest stripped off his vestments and dipped in the water’!”

  41. מאה קולות
    גנוחי גנח או ילילי ילל
    וי להאי שופרא

  42. “Who is like Your people Israel; -while spending Rosh HaShana in a spa – they’re blowing Shofar”

  43. The שופר needs a bath too, we both smell awful.

  44. Feeling horny…

  45. Staying in shul got too much for my nerven, but how could I miss the holy mitzvah of shofer?

  46. “This Rosh Ha-Shanah I’m occupying my bathtub.”

  47. Why throw the shofar out with the bath water?

  48. blow it out your shofer!

  49. Q. What do bathing and blowing shofer have in common? A. They are both meant to cleanse you.

  50. I can multi task

  51. I’m gonna blow this contest right
    out of the water!

  52. The shoifer in the bath goes toot,oot,ot

  53. Who says I’m too old to blow bubbles?

  54. Rub a dub dub mein
    shoifer is in the tub

  55. “Oy, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up”

  56. Shmuly, are you playing with my shtreimel and shoifer in the bathtub again?

  57. Have me in mind. Woke up late and I could use a bath.

  58. “Has anyone seen my streimel and shofer?”

  59. This is what I call good clean fun!

  60. Taking a bubble bath with my shauffeur

  61. cleansing my soul and my body with one blow

  62. “pure” fun!

  63. holy shofer, batman! the joker’s in the tub.

  64. bubbles,water,tub,naked man,shofer One of these things are not like the other…one of theses things just doesn’t belong.

  65. this should keep me from falling asleep in the tub

  66. Cleanse thyself with thy shofer…am I taking this too literally?

  67. “He just asked to use our bathroom, Mom.”

  68. Holy bath water Robin, we’ve located
    the shofer. To the bat mobile!

  69. Blowing and cleansing…what’s strange about dat? People do it all da time.

  70. If it bothers you…stop looking at me!

  71. What are you staring at? You never saw a chasid blow?

  72. Oh God, I hope the bubbles last until I blow all the tekiyos.

  73. I think I’ll soak with my horn for a while.

  74. I’m gonna wash those sins right out of my hair…

  75. Ta, can the neighbors come over for shoifer bloozin?

  76. I don’t get out much these days.

  77. I’m trying to drown my sins…

  78. Is that a shofar in your bath tub, or you’re just happy to see me?

  79. The neighbor thinks only HE can fart…

  80. She asked me to surprise her, this is gonna blow her mind!

  81. Totty borrowed my uggs, again…

  82. “Tshuva from the comfort of my hot-tub”

  83. “Mikvah lady, I’m ready..”

  84. Oy Mendle, you’re such a hoot!

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